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[03 Jan 2005|09:03pm] |
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This will more than likly be my last entry in this journal........if you want to read anymore of my Oh so interestinf life *sarcasm* find my other one
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[03 Jan 2005|07:49pm] |
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mood |
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 irate |
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music |
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"Passive"-A Perfect Circle |
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I have no way to get ahold of you so i figure hopfully you will read this and get back to me.
All i have to say is I dont get it. I have done nothing but treat you with the most respect and i have been steped on the entire time. The entire break all i could do is rhink of you and what do i get in return, NOTHING, not even a return call. I sacrafice so much for you and done so much to help and be there but when i need you the most you ignore me. two weeks of not seeing you and when i finally do, you blow me off....
Maybe forever isnt as long as you thought huh? Whatever, all you have done is toy with my emotions. and you cant even tell me to my face? Go ahead and run back to him i dont care....its your life. and i guess i'm not apart of it
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[29 Dec 2004|12:06pm] |
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mood |
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annoyed |
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music |
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"Personal Jesus"- Marilyn Manson |
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I was so right, how predctable.
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[22 Dec 2004|11:27am] |
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mood |
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 contemplative |
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music |
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"Pet"-A Perfect Circle |
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five days without seeing or talking to you...this sucks. Oh well your probably having your own fun.
Last night I had a discussion with my brother and it didnt end with the best of advice. But all i could say is, "i have hope". I guess thats all i do have.
..."Pay no mind what other voices say, they dont care about you..like i do. Safe from pain and truth and choice, and other poison devils, saying they dont give a fuck about you.......count the bodies like sheep to the rithym of the war drumms...go back to sleep"
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[14 Dec 2004|01:44pm] |
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mood |
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contemplative |
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What to say........nothing i guess. Everything is just....yea. that about sums it up.
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[31 Oct 2004|02:33pm] |
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mood |
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 mellow |
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music |
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"Imagine"-A Perfect Cirlce |
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Holy Moley, I have not touched this thing in like qa long time. Things have been pretty odd latly. I guess i have a few new stories, but i dont feel like going through all of them. Oh man, Fridy night, me and Dan didn't want to climb "Mt. Sterling" so we asked Brian to give us a ride up the hill, and he crashed into this car and i was like "who the hell parks their car in the middle of a driveway" and then I found out it was Chelsea's mom, i was so embarassed. Maril's party was fun too. Me and Chelsea were able to spend some time alone for once, I'm glad we did, i really love that girl. Only two more weeks and football is over, i hope i can spend more time with Chelsea then. Well, now I have to spend my Halloween night doing nothing so, buh bye.
-Chelsea, I LOVE YOU TO NO END!!!
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[16 Oct 2004|12:12am] |
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mood |
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 numb |
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music |
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silence |
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...the needle tears a hole
the old familiar sting
try to kill it all away
but I remember everything...
I have had such a bad day... Its pointless trying anymore... In the end, i'm the one to blame....why...
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[26 Sep 2004|08:59pm] |
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mood |
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 devious |
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music |
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American Idiot-Green Day |
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All in all, this weekend was pretty good. Friday was pretty good, especially our win, except for the varcity loss, that sucked, and the dance was a little lame. Saturdy was really awesome, Mandy's birthday was really fun. Me and Nathan messed with everyone's drinks at Hooters, and almost made Mandy throw up. The limo ride home was really relaxing, especially when it got dark and we turned the lights off and just "chilled". Then Nathan ends the ride with anj obnoxiouse scream, waking up Nydia, haha. Today was uber boring, but oh well.
NOVEMBER 21, COX ARENA......GREEN DAY!!!!!!! and I AM GOING!!!
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[21 Sep 2004|05:56pm] |
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mood |
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disappointed |
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I hate myself, i'm such a fucking failure, i just wanna die...
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[15 Sep 2004|09:03pm] |
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mood |
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 dirty |
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Today was a really awesome day, except for a few things. Lunch was not the best but got better ;) Uhhh I have come to the conclusion that I suck at theatre. The rest of the class was really good though. Me, Dan and Brian went for Pizza after school, it was great and football was really good. so GOOD DAY! Chelsea, I LOVE YOU, hope YOU had fun today ;)
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[11 Sep 2004|07:26pm] |
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y am i so useless....
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[08 Sep 2004|09:40pm] |
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mood |
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sore |
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music |
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"world so cold"-Mudvayne |
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WOW i have not updated in the longest time. My internet is a peice of crap. But oddly, i have not got much to say. funniest thing today- The nazi rebellion in German class-Her Davey is such a little bitch, he got what was coming to him, I'm gonna create the H.D.R.P or Herr Daevey Rebellion Party, a group of people who ban together to rebell against her Davey. Any one wanna join?? Another bitch ass- Coach Ramsdale, he's such a twat. Damn my back is hurting like a vergin in snoop dawgs house. On a lighter note, I LOVE CHELSEA!!!!! I seriouly can not get enough of that girl. I just wish we had more time for US. She seems to have something on her mind latly or there is something wrong, but she wont tell me....oh well.
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[27 Aug 2004|11:11pm] |
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mood |
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 tired |
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Scrimage today. We did really well. It feels so good to be back on a field again, hitting someone i dont know. I love it. Serra next week. Thats gonna be a fun game, I cant wait.
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[24 Aug 2004|07:52pm] |
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mood |
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lazy |
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music |
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"Remedy"-Cold |
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School-not too bad. I have hard classes but so dar dont seem TOO bad...well it is only the second day. Other than my classes, its GREAT!!! Fifth period is good too. Mr. D called me and Chelsea "the maried couple" that was odd, and funny. I got scolded at like 3 times in that class and like twice at luch today, i swear, women make you get in trouble.
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[20 Aug 2004|09:51pm] |
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mood |
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 drained |
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music |
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"Stranger"-A Perfect Circle |
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"If given a penny for every kind act, you'd be a millionaire"- Thats what my fortune cookie said. i laughed. maybe if you replace the words "kind act" with "time you are a dumb shit failure" THAT might be true. So yea, today-not the best. I AM a dumb shit failure, but hey, i'm use to it. I got to be with Chelsea, that made my day. I love her so much.
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[19 Aug 2004|09:34pm] |
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mood |
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lonely |
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GAWD! I miss her so much. This really sucks. But at least i can see her a bit tomorrow after practice. Only 3 more days 'till school. Good and bad. Good-See Chelsea, friends, Mr. D, and shorter practice. Bad-SCHOOL!!! Me and Nathan arn't in the same German class i think. That sux, we wanted to mess w/ Hr. Davey SOOOO much. Oh well. Chelsea, I miss you and I love you, verry much.
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[17 Aug 2004|10:00pm] |
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mood |
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disappointed |
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music |
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The Three Libras-A Perfect Circle |
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I'm so stupid. I am worthless. I dont know why i do this anymore, i am a huge loser. I dont think I can do anything right. She shouldnt be with me, she deserves better, not this fat ugly no-talented loser. How can I take care of her when i cant even take care of myself. And now i have to be gone untill Monday. This is gonna be fun.
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| Last night |
[15 Aug 2004|03:16pm] |
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mood |
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sore |
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music |
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Sleeping Beauty-A Perfect Circle |
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Last night was so awesome. I love you Chelsea. I always will. Our first time being just US and it was totally GREAT!! I guess it wasnt a dream afterall. The sad part, i forgot about what most of the movie was about.....oops.I guess i should watch it when it comes out on DVD. Well now i met the mom AND the dad, so we should be able to do more stuff together. I cant wait for school. And so far, 1 skirt has been aproved.....there are still more to go.....;) CHELSEA, I LOVE YOU!!
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[11 Aug 2004|10:43pm] |
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mood |
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contemplative |
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music |
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NIN-The Becoming |
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I miss her so much. I cant stand this. I wont be able to really spend time with her, if even SEE her, untill school starts. I hate this. How am i supose to meet her parents when by tomorrow, i wont even have time for MY OWN parents. I cant take this. Now I dont even think i'll be able to TALK to her very much anymore. I want us to grow closer, but how when all we have been is seperated?? This is killing me, i cant take it anymore. I need to focus on what needs to be done right now, but i cant, she's always on my mind...Are these the affects of love?? Gawd I miss her so much...
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| Touch of the Angel Lips |
[09 Aug 2004|06:22pm] |
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mood |
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numb |
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music |
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silence |
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Softly trespassing, it flows through your lips. An osmosis of collateral proportion. seducing the blood, heating its flow. A change, the inevitable, the effects of the silent intruder. Strait from the blood to the red, the red that is no longer seen. Hands become heavy, eyes, captured into white. Sleep, enforced on the child, tainting the innocence of a lost essence. Trembling, the body falls, a whole that leads to no end, no beginning. Lynched by the lucid thoughts who became poisoned through flesh. The crawl upon his back and the soft frost in his breath, the intruder tampers the internal machinery. Quiet, breath no more, no blood flows, no beating from the deep. A new sensation, produced into new womb. Born to see a cry of redemption. A new creation. Life.
-tell me what u think-
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